# 412 09/17/2007 Your child deserves protection from a bully.

Last week, I outlined general guidelines to avoid confrontations with bullies. Most bullies threaten someone to intimidate him or her. If that fails because the threatened person appears confident and unafraid, the bully usually moves on to another victim.

Your child might not be successful at convincing the bully that she is unafraid. Or, the bully may have a specific, personal reason to pick on your child. In either case, the bullying may become a real threat.

Every child deserves the right to attend school in an atmosphere of physical and emotional safety. To expect a child to go to school in a state of fear is very wrong.

Often, your child tells you that your contacting the school will only make matters worse. She begs you to leave the matter alone. At the same time, she is crying because she does not want to face the bully at school.

School administrators want to know if a child is being threatened. My experience has been that they will keep confidential the fact that you have contacted the school. Many times in my years in the public schools, we were notified to be on the lookout for a particular child’s well being and to keep an eye on a bully. Neither the child nor the bully realized that our watchfulness was because a parent had alerted us. Soon the bully grew weary of all the teachers watching her and turned her attention elsewhere.

What about fighting back? Many parents tell their child to “just be sure you win.” However, Jesus said “You have heard that it was said, ‘Eye for eye, and tooth for tooth.’ But, I tell you, Do not resist an evil person. If someone strikes you on the right cheek, turn to him the other also.” Matthew 5:38-39. In addition to the fact that Jesus said not to fight back, doing so will bring disciplinary action regardless of who started the fight. It is better to move into the sight of some school personnel.

We must protect our children. If your child is being seriously threatened, contact the school immediately so they can use all their resources for her protection.