# 245 07/05/04 Compare TV notes with your teenagers

Last week, I wrote about beginning a dialogue with your teen concerning what he watches on television. I suggested that you each spend a week noting shows that had inappropriate viewpoints: women as sex objects, weak men, sex as sport and devalued marriage.

At the end of the week, get together to compare your lists. Hopefully, he has had his eyes opened to the agendas that the culture is promoting. Ask him what he thinks about what he has discovered. Ask him if doing his detective work of the previous week has changed how he feels about television viewing. After time has been spent exploring this topic with him, ask him how he thinks this knowledge will change his viewing habits.

Bring up the topic of peer pressure. Tell him that you know it is difficult to say, “This is not the kind of stuff I want to watch,” when he is around friends. Talk about how hard it is to stand against peer pressure at any age. Keep in mind that it is much more difficult for a teen than it is for an adult. Acknowledge that. It will not help to tell him about your successes in handling peer pressure. Talk about your struggles when you were tempted to follow the crowd.

Tell your child that you feel that he should be responsible for making wise choices about his viewing. Remind him that you will not always be with him, which means that he will be the one making the decisions. Tell him again that what he watches will affect the kind of person he will be in the future.

Hopefully, you will have planted a seed with your child. He will never again feel comfortable watching certain shows. He may occasionally watch something that you would not like for him to choose. If you walk into a room when he has made a bad choice, simply say, “How do you feel about that show you are watching?” Do not be judgmental.

Since peer pressure is very difficult for teens to handle, you will need to give him some tools for handling situations when he is on the spot. Few teens are strong enough to say “No” to a group of their peers. Next week, I will give you some tips about helping your child when he is in a tight spot with his peers.