# 391 04/23/07 Consider the old rules of courtship

Did women realize what they were doing when they exchanged the fun of being courted for the freedom to be the pursuer in a relationship?  And, what about the guys?  Does the security of knowing that a girl is a sure date offset the fun of the chase?

There is a movement among some parents to return to requiring old-time courting for their adolescents.  It has not been very successful because it is so difficult to go against the culture.  However, there is a place for the adoption of some of the features.  The following are ideas that could be appropriate today:

• The boy calls the girl.  Since boys and girls work together on extracurricular and school projects that make calling necessary, this restriction only applies to pursuing a dating relationship.
• The boy visits the girl in her home to meet parents before taking her out.
• The boy visits with the dad about Dad’s expectations (curfew, respect, etc.).
• The boy comes to the door when picking up the girl.
• The boy pays for dates.
• The boy spends time with the girl and her family for meals, outings, etc. (Considering how much boys eat, this will offset the expenses that he incurs paying for dates.)

Do these guidelines prevent a girl from letting a boy know she is interested in a relationship?  Absolutely not!  Since the beginning of time, girls have known how to send signals to boys.  The problem today is that the signals have lost their subtlety.  That was part of the fun.

When women entered the workforce, they became assertive in order to be successful.  However, we need to teach girls that workplace behavior and social behavior can be different.

Besides missing the excitement of being courted, our girls are missing the joy of being feminine.  God created the sexes different, and different is fun.