#  458  08/04/08  The lessons need to come early.

Last week, I wrote about what is expected of an entering kindergartener.  If a parent read that article and discovered that there were things her child needed to learn, she may be pressed for time.

That is the reason that I regularly address the importance of planning ahead for parenting.  Parenting works much better if it is done as preparation rather than as remediation.

This column is titled, “Train up a child…” based on Proverbs 22:6:  “Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it.”  I chose that verse because I know the importance of proper training.  And because training is more than just telling, it takes time.      
Here is a good rule of thumb:  Find out at what age your child will be faced with an issue.  Subtract three or four years.  That is the very latest you should begin training.  The problem is that most parents do not have a realistic concept of when their children will be faced with an issue.
I am a member of a women’s service club, Soroptimist International of Plainview.  One of the services that we do in our community is to mentor a group of fifth grade girls.  Thanks to television and to peers, these girls think they are very knowledgeable about boys and sex.  (You would be surprised what you overhear if you hang around young people.)  If fifth grade is the first year boys and sex have been the topics of their conversations, their parents should have begun training them for boy-girl relationships as they entered first grade.  Chances are the girls have discussed this topic even before fifth grade. 

Just remember, we want our children to hear from us before they hear from others.

There are other examples.  If we want our children to handle money well in high school and college, we should give them knowledge and practice in late elementary school.  If we want them to keep their rooms neat, we should teach them to pick up their toys when they are toddlers.  If we want them to have manners and respect for elders, they should be saying “Please” and “Thank you” when they are eighteen months old.  They can open doors for their grandmother when they can reach the door handle.

Next week, how is “intentional parenting” different from “casual parenting”?