# 021 03/13/00 Being a stepfather is a big job

Joseph, the earthly father of Jesus, is one of my heroes. What a stepfather! Being a stepparent is not easy. Literature and history abound with many negative and few positive portrayals of stepparents. The story of Joseph the Carpenter is an exception.

A good stepfather acknowledges and affirms the natural father’s role in the child’s life. Although it took a visit from an angel, Joseph recognized that Jesus was the Son of God. A stepfather can be a great “dad” for a child without replacing the child’s natural father. It is especially important that the stepfather not criticize the natural father. It helps to remember that children need all the love they can get. Having the love of both a father and a stepfather just means more love for a child.

Another important role for a stepfather is that of teaching the child something that is unique for the two of them. It might be fly-fishing, auto mechanics, gourmet cooking, or backpacking. My children’s stepfather taught them how to work in a vineyard and to run a spray buggy. They complained occasionally, but they have been heard bragging about “how tough it was” having to do farm work when their friends had the easy jobs!

Joseph taught Jesus carpentry. I can imagine that they spent hours sawing, sanding and talking. Whatever a stepfather chooses to do with his stepchildren, it is a vehicle for building a relationship. What a great opportunity to talk and listen to a young person who can always use another friend.

Finally, a stepfather can teach his stepchildren about love. He demonstrates love in his total acceptance of another man’s children. In loving their mother, he is showing them how a loving marriage relationship should look. Although the Scriptures do not speak directly about Joseph in later years, I am certain he demonstrated love in his family. God had chosen him for a very important role.

Yes, Joseph was a hero, but he is not alone. I know many stepfathers who are taking on this difficult role with enthusiasm, courage and love. These men are heroes who deserve the thanks of their wives and the children they love.