# 257 09/27/04 Girls should look at young man’s friends

A young lady should be instructed from an early age about the importance of making good choices in the company she keeps. David is a good example of the character we would like our daughters to seek in friends and dates. Read about David in First and Second Samuel.

The friendship of David and Jonathan lasted from the time David came to Saul’s palace until Jonathan was killed. Although David had been appointed as the future king, a title that might have gone to the king’s son, he and Jonathan became friends. When the young David lived in the palace, they probably hunted and enjoyed sports together. Later, Jonathan protected him from Saul. Finally, Jonathan was a leader in King David’s armies. Because of his great love for Jonathan, David treated his lame son Mephibosheth kindly for the rest of his life.

Sometimes, when a teen girl is interested in a boy, she would like for him to abandon his friends. It is a tendency of girls to want all the time and attention of young men. Instead of demanding all of his time, a young lady should encourage the continuation of male friendships that existed before their relationship began.

How a teen boy relates to other guys is a good indicator of his character. If other guys respect him, it is probably because he treats them fairly. If other guys listen to his suggestions and follow him, he likely has leadership qualities. If he treats an underdog with kindness, he has learned to respect and value all persons. If he can be a follower as well as a leader, he is humble.

Men and boys are enriched by their relationships with other males. It is a wise woman or teen girl who recognizes the importance of male friendships. Not only should she encourage the friendships, she should observe carefully how her guy behaves toward other guys. That behavior is a good barometer of how he will succeed in business relationships, adult friendships and his relationship with sons.

As you talk to your teen daughter, remind her that she should never try to replace male friendships. She should observe the young man in those relationships and respect them as an important part of his life.